Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
