worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
