I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
