so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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