3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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