Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
