It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize