Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
