it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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