Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
