I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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