You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
