I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
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You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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