This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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