Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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