ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
