fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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