i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
