I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I party with great urgency now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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