I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
