he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
pray to the hookup gods
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
