people are starting to question the shark bite story
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
