i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
