If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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