Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize