Ambien. No doubt about it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
