In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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