My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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