Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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