You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
