If i come over, it means nothing
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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