Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
