I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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