fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
