I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
