it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
