I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
