Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
