Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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