we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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