Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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