I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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