So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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