i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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