Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
