you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
