just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
