I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
