people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize