The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize