You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
