Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
