I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
