Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
