I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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