i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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