remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
