i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I didn't notice because vodka
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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