I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
