You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
