So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
