When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
pop tarts are not kleenex
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
