I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
