I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
